I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
