hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
