So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
