i was rollin on her like bob the builder
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
