Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
