We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Randomize
