I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
