He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
