its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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