Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
