I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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