NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
