Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
