our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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