nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
