Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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