No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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