Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
