Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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