I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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