I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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