my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
