Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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