Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
