yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
