Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
