Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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