Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
