there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm both gender and math confused
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
