I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Pants are for mortals
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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