i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
