Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize