he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
