my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Randomize
