Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
