im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
