Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
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