he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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