I can tuck mytits in my pants
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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