wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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