Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My bed smells like the plague
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
