lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
