I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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