my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
this is an emotional support booty call
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
