did you get engaged???
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
