He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
