Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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