Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
