i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
