Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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